For Young Moms everywhere

I miss my little ones.

While I took so much time with them, it didn’t speed up, slow down or stop.

While I was getting through the day, the day was becoming the past.

While I was busy with every little thing, they would become the things I miss the most.

While I was reading about remedies for sore nipples, there were those little pudgy hands patting my breasts.

While I was researching finger foods, she was piling spaghetti on her head.

While I was washing cloth diapers, I forgot about those little sweet cheeks running through the fountain at the park.

While I was wishing for a full nights sleep, there was that tiny wrinkly foot that was growing beneath the blanket.

While I was struggling to finish the bath before she protested, her hair was changing color.

While I was hurrying to get her dressed, her skin was losing its softness.

While I was frustrated by her wild outbursts, I couldn’t she how it wasn’t her and it wasn’t me.

While I was feeling touched out, I could not know what it would feel like to have empty arms, an empty lap.

While I just wanted the crying to stop, I didn’t realize how deafening the silence would be when she didn’t need me so much.

While I was so bored building blocks on the floor (again), I had no idea that I would be her best friend for such a short time.

While I was folding another load of tiny, spit-upon clothes, I could not imagine that she would be wearing mine so soon.

While I was wishing I could finish just one meal uninterrupted, she was hurtling towards making her own.

While I was annoyed by the music on repeat, it was only tomorrow she would be going to concerts without me.

While I was tripping over toys, she would soon be playing at home a lot less.

While I tuned out her jabbering, she was developing the capacity for thoughts I would never hear.

While I was disappointed that the two hour nap got in the way of plans, I couldn’t know how much I would love a break in the middle of the day to just lie on the couch with her rising and falling to my breath.

While she was making me smile with her first “mama” I had no idea how beautiful she would be and how much more my heart would want to protect her.

While she was taking her first steps and getting into everything I had no idea how strongly she would run in the world.

While she was playing patty-cake with me I had no idea how many people she would touch with her sweetness.

While she was asking for more, I had no idea how giving she would become.

While she was just wanting to be held, I had no idea she’d become the neighborhood’s big sister, the girl everyone admires.

While she was wanting another push on the swing, I had no idea how high she would fly.

While I was reading her a story, I didn’t notice the ways she was helping me write mine.

While I worried about making sure everything was alright, I couldn’t see that it already was.

While I couldn’t see past the mess, the stress, our time together was growing less and less.

While I was feeling that I was giving her everything, I forgot that it was the other way around.