It was with vision in my heart that I scattered the wildflower seeds. Hoping they would take root in the hard soil shaded by the house’s tall wall. Imagining what they might be. Feeling the joy a colorful tangle of random blooms.
Until they bloomed and tangled randomly. Vines curling around stems. Old growth wrapped around fresh greens. New blooms trapped by what has not yet been cleared away.Nature’s momentum outpaced me.
The day came that I felt like I was being swallowed as I strolled past my overgrown vision. Each plant was beautiful. Each seed carried potential that I wanted to see. Each one needed the care I wanted to give.
But it wasn’t my intention to spend all day in the garden. Being spread thinly wasn’t in the plan. Feeling tired and overwhelmed by what was to bring happiness wasn’t the point.
I cut it back. I began by pruning away the dead spots and found pleasure in tearing away more as I got deeper. Space for what remained to breathe, to receive light, to grow more fully. With less to be tended, I knew I could tend more. With less competition, my eyes could linger more.With less tangled, my heart could feel peace more.
As so it is that I find myself remembering my intentions. I planted the seeds of a family. I planted the seeds of meaningful work. I planted the seeds of simply showing up. The roots that are not easily uprooted get to stay as do the wildflowers that feed my spirit without reservation or demand. The process of clearing out the accidental tangles of growth gone wild brings so much comfort to my overstimulated senses. Instead of failing to keep up and trying to live with the lushness, I can now get back to the original vision. Loveliness that moved me. Joy that inspired me. Pleasure that simply filled me.
Only one swift cut gets the process moving, then it isn’t so hard. What seemed so thick is revealed as a series of easily removed layers. The dirt that once received the promising seed is turned anew and I am grateful to see it there, still. Unchanged except to be richer than before, remaining ready for me. It is a welcome delight in it’s simplicity, solidity and sureness.
Breathing deeply, I declare my work done and my way clear.
What remains is the heart of my vision. My abandon. My loves. My desire. My joy. My willingness. My open invitation for life to rise and shine.
My solid ground is the beauty without the burden.
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