42 Ways to get to Mid-Life without a Crisis

Without a lot of fanfare, I became 42 years old this past week. I woke up that morning thinking these words:

Dear Sun,

On all these 42 trips we’ve taken together, I’ve been running around you. You’ve gently turned, raining your warmth over me wherever my feet were landing, wherever my breath was catching. You’ve remained while I chased your light, exhausting myself. This time around, though, I’ve got it figured out. I’m grasping your constant rays and allowing you to spin me around as you move. Like a little child I feel giddy held by your security, feet flying out behind, laughing in my dizziness. Let’s make this the best trip ever!

I thought about how I’m at the middle of my life and what I want now. What’s the state of things and how did I arrive here? I feel deeply satisfied while still challenged and interested in myself, my family and my world. I am so excited about my life and each day in it.

The conclusion is that mid-life is promising; there is no crisis looming. It’s taken some effort and these are 42 ways I’ve made it happen:

1. Stop apologizing for who you are.

2. Start apologizing for your mistakes.

3. Don’t create drama.

4. Do what you do best.

5. Walk the dog. Pet the cat. Play with the kid.

6. The best things in life are free but investments in those things make you rich.

7. Closed doors open if you turn their knobs. Sometimes you’ll need a key.

8. Get help before you need it.

9. Those thoughts you have just as you wake? Write them down.

10. Don’t take things that don’t belong to you. This includes feelings, expectations and obligations.

11. Ignore the advice in your yearbook to never change. There is so much more out there. You mustn’t stay the same.

12. Take the advice in your yearbook to stay the same. Stay idealistic and looking ahead. Don’t ever change.

13. Change the scenery, even if you like it. You’ll learn something.

14. Say it don’t spray it. Express yourself but don’t wound.

15. Always have spare candles.

16. Spend money on yourself.

17. Forget about building the wheel. What you need are wings.

18. Knowing where you are going is more productive than where you’ve been. Think progress.

19. Surprise yourself regularly.

20. Don’t underestimate elegance.

21. Leave some blanks unfilled.

22. Know the starlight we enjoy is the legacy of stars burned away long ago.

23. Get over yourself already.

24. Raise the bar. Again.

25. Keep it simple. Don’t make it hard(er).

26. Look people in the eye.

27. Be heard. Your voice is desired.

28. Give your body plenty of oxygen and water. The rest is negotiable.

29. Err on the side of intimacy, if only with yourself.

30. What lights the flame is more important than the flame itself.

31. Bouquets wilt. Plant yourself a flowering tree.

32. Quit when you’re done.

33. With one hand in the past and one in the future you can’t embrace today. Pay attention.

34. Your head and your heart need each other. Let them communicate.

35. Keeping the peace can be as simple as letting the conflict go. It’s a choice not a weakness.

36. MINE is not a 4 letter word. It’s okay to keep something just for you.

37. Your story isn’t as unique as you think. Someone understands.

38. The people in your life aren’t mind readers and neither are you. Stop assuming.

39. Use clarity as your currency.

40. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should be.

41. Receive grace and offer it yourself. There’s a reason graceful people endure.

42. A house isn’t a home until someone inhabits it. Your life is the same way. Move in.


Oh, 42, do I have plans for you!


(and it’s not too late for you to join in the Time of Your Life. The group is forming and enrollment is open until Jan 19.)




  • Madeline Rains

    Oh FLo! Look at what you have created here! I hadn’t been to your blog since….I don’t know the last time I went to ANY unschooling blog. It’s been several years. Just art blogs now. I am so impressed and inspired by your clarity and generosity here and growth. : ) Wish you weren’t on the other side of the country. I’d love to have a cup of tea with you.

    • Flo

      All of my soul sisters live so far away- I would LOVE to have tea with you. Thank you so much for your sweet words. You know how much they mean to me. Miss you, M.

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