The complete silence is evidence of progress. The flurry of activity that should be happening but isn’t is a sign that I’ve got it figured out. I am hosting a five day event for five hundred people in seven days and I feel nothing but calm.
This reminds me of the sentiment I hear the most: I don’t know how you do it.
In fact, I was warned to not even try. Four years ago, my kids were three and seven and I had a big dream to create this event and give it life. My life was already so busy just being a homeschooling mom and wife. You won’t have the time.
I did it anyway and the first year exceeded my expectations by 100%. Yes, double the attendance. Not only did I find the time to get it done, I managed to do it successfully. I admit that it wasn’t the most fun I’ve ever had, though. My stomach was in knots, my head was crammed with details, my heart with worry. My laundry list of tasks was huge and seemed to grow daily despite my diligent work. I felt completely torn between preparing lunch and reviewing banquet event orders. My kids needed me and my project needed me, too. I poured myself into everything and everyone and frantically pulled it together. After it was over I took a year off because I felt my family needed me more. Mostly though, I needed a breather.
When I came back to the work, I first organized myself using all I had learned and created the first time around. Fast forward to today, my third event, and I find myself quietly writing by the light on our comfy couch because I have nothing else to do. I don’t know how you do it.
My big secret? It’s not what you think. Are you ready?
I don’t even try.
Sure, I have my spreadsheets and checklists and deadlines and I show up to do the work. But I’m not constantly trying to get it done. I know that all I need to do is this one task in front of me, really focus on it, do it well, and feel the satisfaction that comes from finishing it. The next task will be waiting when it’s time. I trust the process. I let go of the control that is such a temptation and illusion in one. Not trying means I don’t look ahead. I don’t do more than I have scheduled unless the time is really free and I feel like it. In essence, I go with the flow. I just do one thing and then look around for what the next moment is calling for. Maybe it’s folding the laundry or helping one of my girls search youtube.
I can multitask with the best of ’em, counting it as one of my major strengths for most of my life. My mind and hands can separate or come together as necessary without much effort and I get a lot done. Efficient and effective is highly valued. Moms are really good at this. Professional jugglers have nothin’ on us.
But the problem with the ability to multitask is the ability to multitask.
It makes me feel frantic. Being able to see the big picture can be overwhelming. Remembering every to-do item creates urgency. Knowing how short time is leads to worry and obsessing that it’ll never work. How can I enjoy anything that way? Where’s the sinking into the moment and appreciating it? What do you see and hear when you aren’t really paying attention? When the brain is flitting all over the place how can you feel grounded? It seems impossible between the rushing from here to there. So I stopped trying to direct anything and fell into flow. It works beautifully.
I sit here with every detail neatly tied and an easy heart. There’s no last minute cramming, no all nighters, no stress. The process has been painless, my family has been taken care of, the summer has been full of amazing moments and we’re all happy. Without even trying to make it so. With focus on just the one thing in front of me. Living, breathing and responding one moment at a time and nothing more.
You can do big, amazing, fantastic things. Don’t tell yourself that can’t. Show your kids how it’s done with a smile on your face and peace in your heart.
What do you want to begin?
Make a list and take the first step.
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